If I haven't had it I will never know what im missing

Anyone who knows me I am totally stoked about getting to have sex when I get married.
I mean im not even engaged or anything but still I hold having to have sex up to such a high standard.

I know I know, Im really gonna be disappointed when it actually happens because its not that great.

But what if im never disappointed?
I mean I have never had it, so I really don't know what im missing.
Celebate?

I have thought day in and day out about what its gonna be like, feel like, smell like, what the lighting is gonna be like, what music I want playing, what location, what position. I mean you name it, i have thought about it.

But the more time I spend with a boy, whom is not attracted to me, i think......
Im willing to not have sex for life if that means I get to spend my life with you.

Woah woah woah.
Wait a min.
Is this anna talking here?


Yes.

When im with him, i don't need sex.
I think I have reached the deepest emotional part of me.
If he doesn't want it, i won't have it.

Im willing.

I know I know, i will miss out on the one thing I was looking forward to for life.
But, its not what I need.
He is what I need.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am literally in awe. I applaud you so much for choosing chastity in this day in age where having sex is pretty much mandatory.

It shows willpower, and self-restraint, and I admire that to the fullest.

I personally didn't choose to take that road, but I have the utmost respect for the people that DO.

Sex is overrated, and you will learn that fast.

:]
August 21, 2007 at 1:16 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye my brother

Received news today about my brother that has been struggling with addiction for about 5 years now. He had checked into another treatment center yesterday but then this morning his roommates couldn't wake him up this morning and they had found out that he had passed. My mother pulled me and my sister out of yoga class and told us the news. Needless to say we were mortified. It wasn't 5 mins later God started spreaking. God, first and foremost told me He was with me. He was all around me, there was no where that my pain was where God was not. He then gave me a vision of Robert. It was like God was standing in front of me and then Robert popped out from behind Him. So filled with joy and laughter. God made it clear that it was the type of joy he would never receive on earth. It comforted me. God then said "This time, I wanted him". God had told me that He wanted Robert back. He had created Robert and this time He was going to take him. The tears continued but
Read more

Matramony manic

Woah. Going from the previous posts for YEARS of complaining or contemplating love to being ENGAGED?! what a jump. I have been totally humbled through this experience because I always had such choice words from those who went so fast in a relationship. That got engaged and married so quickly, I had a timeline for them. I know how I feel about Bobby and I could honestly date him for 2 years 10 years or 10 months just as long as I am with him. I find the things in him that solidify that we can get through any issue. He has shown me in ways that aren't words that He has the living God inside him and with all that I can trust. Oh the faith of that man. We all really know I came to write this to rant right? Right! In most things in life I have known what to expect. I know that when I go to makeup school I would be dealing with makeup and makeup related people. I knew that when I went into a club I would be dancing and maybe sippin some good stuff. I knew that when someone wanted
Read more

uh uh uh, not so fast

Ok, I don't exactly know where to go with this but I felt lead to write it so I am going to spew out some words on this page. A few nights ago I was invited to go to a show at a local coffee shop in town. At first I wasn't going to go because I knew that if I went I would have to interact with people... most specifically... guys. Don't get me wrong here everyone, I love me so guys. But, when it comes to talking to them I find myself a little "who invited the homeschool girl" with what I say. Not because I am boring or sheltered in someway, but because I clearly have no idea was social appropriateness is about. I wish I could think of an example off the top of my head, but considering its late I might have already laid my brain down to sleep, got it its warm milk and tucked it in. I am sure that my mom can think up some funny interactions with boys, you know the kind of interactions that later she has to convince them that she did NOT lock me in a broom closet wi
Read more