Heart of a Virgin, Mind of a Whore

So I think I am at the age where I want to figure things out on my own. Never before that I thought the majority of my information or opinions has been given to me by my family. I mean if a friend didn't do "this" they were a bad friend and I shouldn't be friends with them anymore and they weren't worth my time (which there is NO one not worth my time) I hate the word "worth and time". And it was even worse when it came to guys. I mean this time I didn't even tell them anything about the guy I met and they were already "be careful, dont have sex with him, i dont trust men" (wonder where my trust issues with guys came from) and just basically negative thoughts about it from the beginning. Which makes me question everything. All the worries I have about relationships I think were given to me by everyone else. Honestly. I wonder if these are really my issues or everyone elses given to me. -----ill continue this later.

Am I the product of brainwash? Am I the perfectly normal? Am I the mirror image of the things I hate? If I am, is it too late? I went on a date recently and it all happened how I have wanted it to happen. We met. We talked. We clicked. He got my number. He asked me on a date. We went on a great date. He asked me on a second. So organic in my opinion. I think of the 40's and 50's and think of how things were then. Or how they were portrait to be then. Where all feelings were real, time was short, and love was alive. Now it seems like feelings are hidden, time is lost, and love is failing. Do we know what to blame it on? Or is there anything to blame but ourselves? How have we, I, gotten so cowardish? It seemed to be if you wanted something you got it, or it was gone. Now if you want something you blog about it, and hope for a "big break" or for the right person to pay attention. Has society told me that if he doesnt call the next day, texted, or facebooked that he is n