Silly little me
So I was at the Bethel prayer chapel last night and wrote this little tid bit about hope. About how if God were to give me nothing else I pray He gives me hope. Hope through it all. Hope that he knows what He is doing. Well then I realized I don't really take him up on that. That if I truely wanted it I need to live it. Well fear is almost opposite of hope right? I live in fear. In great, deep, undeniable fear. Fear of never finding love. Never finding someone that is gonna love me for who I am. Just plain never finding anyone and ending up alone. Its sad to say and unfair to say that any affection shown towards me can be taken sometimes too intensly. I savor it, I want to find more. I don't want to really say its because im a pathetic girl, I think its because im really just scared shitless. Scared shitless that its the last affection I will ever see. I know what your thinking "ok anna, way to be emo" But honestly its something deep in my heart, that throbs, that bur...