Heart of a Virgin, Mind of a Whore

So it probably wasn't till this last year that I realized how much of a feeler I am. Feeler meaning I can feel energies and people really well. Bobby could wake up in the morning and I could feel if he didn't sleep well, or I always can feel when he is being quietly mad with me. I can feel when people's intentions are not good. Or when someone is bullshiting me, especially selling me something. I always just thought it was normal, but my mom made me realize what a gift it is and not everyone has this gift. Well in coming into better understanding of this gift, I now can begin to understand also why I can get so upset or affected by something that is dark or violent. I have to be careful of what I expose myself to because I can take on the energy or the feeling if I am not being careful. It also explains why I can cry so quickly when I feel someone's pain. Like when someone is crying, crying with them is not super comforting. Like especially when it has nothing t...

We all know the song. "You're just too good to be true, Cant take my eyes off of you, You'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much" In a way this song has become so evident in my life. God is too good to be true. I don't want to take my eyes off of Him. This might sound a tad wierd. But there has been so many times where there is nothing else I scream other than to have God just hold me. And even though I don't physically get held, or rocked I can feel Him. I feel His hands reach inside and hold my heart. I feel my heart get rocked, and its tears get wiped away. Its almost as if I am a babysitter, God has dropped my heart off at daycare. But vision this, I don't look after it, i let it run around and get knocked into things, put its hand on the burner, play in the mud. And then when God comes back to check on it, its hurt, crying, broken. Then I have to say to God "Im so sorry, i don't know what went wrong, Im a bad babysitter. You shou...