Heart of a Virgin, Mind of a Whore

So the big move is coming up in T-minus 2 days. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Pretty much sums it up. I was going through my stuff today and came across old notes and pictures and it would be so easy to go back to those fearless days, when at that age not a whole lot was expected from you. No bills, not a lot of maturity either. But now the only person to push me is me. I know that I have never been very good at that either. I am such a people person but i need to start telling them no. Because a lot of people are gonna want to hang out. there are a lot more people in la then here. backstage west- Sorry just a side note for me in the middle of this. dragon agency/talent beverly hills playhouse I was reading a letter that my parents wrote to me in highschool when I did the every 15 minutes activity. They wrote it as if I had died in a drunk driving accident and it was what they would have wanted to tell me or would say at my funeral. As I read through it I thought to

God, I just wanted to let you in on a couple things that have been running through my mind on a daily basis. "What the hell are you doing anna? You are setting yourself up for a big disappointment! Not only to yourself, but everyone is gonna watch you move away and then move right back to Redding. You don't have the money to do this, you don't have the job to get you through this, your fear is what is going to hold you back. You MUST be crazy" These are a few of the thoughts that bring me to tears every day. Is this what I need to go through to be so desperate for you that I know if I didnt seek your way I would not make it? Are these the thoughts that need to go through my head until I actually just do it and whole heartedly? How can I think that I can make it in acting when every stick skinny person that lives in that city wants the same as I? Is the only difference that I have you? Do I have what it takes? Lord I need your affirmation on a daily basis that I have w