With Every Heart Beat

I take comfort in reading many blogs. The reason being is because it doesn't seem like anyones road with God is easy. I am not asking for an easy road though, I can handle what is thrown at me. But what I crave is a better understanding of God. Seeing His place, His hand in the mist of it all. I have had many people tell me "one time I was going through this really hard time and I got this verse in my head and I went to it and it was exactly what I was going through, it was such a divine moment with God". Apparently I am a spoiled brat, cause clearly I am super excited for whoever is telling me this but my next question to them would always be "how many times has that happened to you?" there response "once". Uh oh. I felt like my relationship with God always needed more and more and more. Was I worshiping enough? Was I listening enough? Because when people would tell me these beautiful stories of insight into peoples lives, or prayers they had prayed for people having them come to Christ this this and that, I always though, woah.... I need to get to where they are. But it was between these different conversation with the "once" people that I realized that that has always been a part of my life. Ever since I can remember God has pointed verses to me that gives me comfort that He knows that it is what He is taking me through, and if I listen, this is how the story ends. I THOUGHT THAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE. I cannot even begin to count how many times that has happened to me, I mean just 2 weeks ago God brought me to a verse that was like putting a direct pin into the bullseye of my pushpin life. Something that I have always tried to work on is my faith with God. In my previous post I had mentioned that I am very good at stressing out and how lately not much seems to send me over the edge. Granted, I was the one that asked for all of this, I prayed for God to give me the faith that brings me to my knees. HA! WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!! Well at first it seemed as if everything brought me to my knees, my phone cracking, lack of money, family problems, roommate stuff, loneliness etc. I mean you name it, God wanted to take it. Slowly but surely He wasn't asking for things anymore, He wasn't needing to take things away because I was offering them. Its almost like cleaning out a closet with a friend. If your friend were to just go through and start taking things out of your closet that you weren't ready to get rid of then you would be upset and wondering why the hell you had such a rude friend. But when you take a glimpse at what is better than all your closet and the way to experience it most was to clean out your own closet.... its like your friend sitting on your bed as you hand them clothes and say "you can have this, you can have that, you can have this, I don't even know why this is in here, oh man this is old news... so ready to get rid of this" until you pile your entire closet onto your friend and your friend goes "thanks, right this way. Oh and by the way, you can wear anything you want out of my closet you know". Wow, I am so smart. I seriously just came up with this analogy like right now. That was clever. Oh Jesus, you make me happy by making me sound so wise. haha. Anyways it has been a process of that. Where something starts to go a little not as planned in my life and I basically say "Oh ok God you want this? I trust you know what You are doing more than I so here you go". I mean lets not pat myself on the back, its not as graceful, but definitely not brought to my knees as much because my faith in God has grown immensely. The other day I needed some money for gas and I was doing my morning devotional. I was getting a little stressed in the fact of having no money, feeling stuck at home and so I started praying "God I can't wait to see how you are going to take care of me through this, whether its money on the ground or its a random person handing me a check, You have me covered and I am excited to see how this pans out". Well then I leave the house to go on a morning walk and about a block an a half away I look into someones grass (what? weird) and there is a dollar on the ground. GRANTED a dollar is not going to get me much, but the last time I found money on the ground was probably 4 years ago. Like 3 times in my life have I ever found money on the ground and there it was, gleaming in the sunlight, angelic tones coming from all sides of it. haha. no. it was gross and dirty but it was a dollar. Then I walked away quickly because I didn't want some crackhead running out of the house chasing me because it was in their yard (crackhead referencing to the fact that we live on the scary part of town). It had nothing to do with the value of the dollar, it has to do with the fact it is God reminding me of His promises. I just finished reading a inspiring book about creating an inspiring story. So needless to say, I am inspired. I have been praying to God to show me where adventure lies. As I was praying this morning I heard God speak (which is normal, I am so spoiled!!!!) and He said "Anna I know what makes your heart beat fast and what makes it beat slow because my heart is inside of your heart. I have made your heart to come alive, I have set your passions for you. I want to give you a life where your heart is consistently beating fast. An adventure that does not slow and a heart that jumps out of your chest. Take peace in my majesty." UM OK! BRING IT ON JESUS! My heart is resting for a life of running. Thank you Lord for speaking life and laying my simple worries to rest. In You I trust, in You I follow.