We laugh in the car
the anticipation of a date together
it was always a pleasant experience to spend one on one time with you
you showed me how it was to be treated like a lady

Listening to music loud
windows down
heater on
funny faces
weird words
comfortable
sober

I dance my way out of the car
Looking to my date of the evening
Dad, are you ok?
Dad, what the hell is going on?
Dad, why are you falling?
Dad!

Your words were less playful
"Your mother doesn't love me"

Have you ever felt your chest pried open?
And your heart fall into your own hands
and you watch as the cracks scurry to all corners

Dad?
Are you drunk?

The unimaginable
this cannot be real
I don't know this man
I was too young to remember this man

GIVE ME MY DAD BACK

I dial comfort
Home

Hello?
Mom. Dads drunk
Laughter.
Mom?

The moon lost color
the wind lost its sound
the reality set in

Bring him home Anna

A drive through misery
the endless minutes
the stranger in my car

surrounded by air
but not excepting any of it
gasping
crying

home

running away from the man I ran to always
its unnatural

the hug of a mother
but wanting the embrace of my father

I love you dad

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