uh uh uh, not so fast
Ok, I don't exactly know where to go with this but I felt lead to write it so I am going to spew out some words on this page.
A few nights ago I was invited to go to a show at a local coffee shop in town. At first I wasn't going to go because I knew that if I went I would have to interact with people... most specifically... guys. Don't get me wrong here everyone, I love me so guys. But, when it comes to talking to them I find myself a little "who invited the homeschool girl" with what I say. Not because I am boring or sheltered in someway, but because I clearly have no idea was social appropriateness is about. I wish I could think of an example off the top of my head, but considering its late I might have already laid my brain down to sleep, got it its warm milk and tucked it in. I am sure that my mom can think up some funny interactions with boys, you know the kind of interactions that later she has to convince them that she did NOT lock me in a broom closet with just some nancy drew books and austin power movies mixed in.
ANYWAYS, if you cannot tell by how much detail I put into my awkward interactions with guys then you are just never going to understand. WAIT! I have a better example. muah ha! Ok so you know how in movies where the main character does something that you know they shouldn't do, and you have to just sit and watch the train wreck? Lets take the movie Bridesmaids for instance, the part in the movie where they are both competing over making the best bridesmaid speech at her bridal party and it gets so awkward that you get physically uncomfortable having to watch..... that would be a better example of just maybe how it is. Or at least how I think it is. Back to my point, dammit. So I decide to go to this show a little early to do some writing and spend time with God begging him to impart some type of cleverness/non homeschoolness onto me. Of course God shows up and just assures me I am exactly the way He wants me and my silliness is endearing. Well as the artist starts setting up then the people start flooding in. This man seems to be very popular amongst the ladies, and I am not doubting it is because of his music because he is very talented and heart warming. But as more and more people filled the coffee shop and I see girls outweigh the guys 4 to 1 I start observing. I am looking around at all the girls that are standing, sitting, leaning, and staring at this man playing guitar. They are dressed in adorable scarves with their hair well done and there eyes painted to pure perfection. Their purses match their shoes and their nails seem to be freshly pintrested.... I mean painted. These women were beautiful, each and every one of them and they were doe eyed. Well as I am observing and listening and studying I am purely heartbroken by what I FEEL that I see. Each of them have a little invisible sign saying "pick me", "choose me", "love me", "please take me". I know that sounds quite silly but it shattered my heart into pieces.
See my main motivation for going to this event was to get myself out of my comfort zone. I need to address every man as I would every woman, I need to love them the same and maybe that will just have to come with practice. But all I know is that I had given myself homework and goodness gracious I was going to earn myself an A. I wasn't going for a relationship, I wasn't going to be picked, I was not going to be chosen and I certainly was not going to be competition. I sat and thought to myself, "why? why this guy ladies?". Im going to go ahead and cover my tracks by saying that he is probably a super awesome dude. He seems genuine and he sings songs about his sister who waits for her love in his oh so soothing voice, no doubt, he seems to be carved into a catch. But, what else? I imagined myself walking up to each girl with a microphone and interviewing them of why they have the sign they do on their forehead? I also imagined their answers "Well, he loves Jesus, he is artistic, he loves his family and he is certainly attractive". Ok, what else? WHAT ELSE LADIES??!?!?
I do not want to see my generation of women gathered in a small coffee shop, spending time dressing up, and pretending that coffee is really what you wanted at 8 at night in hopes of getting CHOSEN OVER ALL THE OTHERS because of how many checks some cute guy gets on the checklist.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.... You are far more worth that. If he wants you, he wouldn't ask you to be a fan, he would be your fan. If his looks and his guitar were stripped away... would you still be sitting in that coffee shop ladies? Stop selling yourself so short with your heart and then wonder why you feel betrayed by God? Why you sit in a room full of women with an unspoken competition to be CHOSEN. Slow down, settle down, get down, on your knees and pray to God for him. We do have a desired to be loved, so bad we have that desire even when some of us want to snuff it out, or avoid the possibility of it. But it is sewn into our DNA, to everyones DNA the desire to be loved. Now we have a choice, we can seek love from the ultimate lover, or we can try and fight for love in a coffee shop. See because if you are spending more time at a coffee shop and less time with your Maker, then I don't see how you can even identify holy love when you find it. God does not ask us to chase love, fight others for love, or even need to dress up for love. FIGHT FOR YOUR HEART girls. Fight. It is the only one you have. Stop giving it away at the first guy that actually asked you on a date (instead of beating around a bush or asking you to coffee over and over and over and over and over and over). Stop giving it away to those who seem "worthy" to this world because my man will be worthy of all of heaven. When you are worthy of heaven you are worthy of my heart. Stop giving it to those who message you, call you, fb you, and wait for those who find you.
I am not writing this because I have it all figured out, but I am writing this from a bruised heart. Give love, but keep your heart higher than a man who plays guitar, or a man who knows OF God, or a man who just asks you on a date, or a man you've known for a week. Keep your heart higher than a man who makes money, or a man who wants kids, or a man who just makes the checklist look full. Keep your heart at a place where man will have to align with God to even find it.
So go to a coffee shop and listen to good music if that is what you want. But wipe the labels off your forehead saying "choose me", "love me" and replace it with "I am chosen", "I am loved", "I am just here for the music"
I LOVE YOU ALL LADIES!!!!!!!!! I pray for your hearts every day.
A few nights ago I was invited to go to a show at a local coffee shop in town. At first I wasn't going to go because I knew that if I went I would have to interact with people... most specifically... guys. Don't get me wrong here everyone, I love me so guys. But, when it comes to talking to them I find myself a little "who invited the homeschool girl" with what I say. Not because I am boring or sheltered in someway, but because I clearly have no idea was social appropriateness is about. I wish I could think of an example off the top of my head, but considering its late I might have already laid my brain down to sleep, got it its warm milk and tucked it in. I am sure that my mom can think up some funny interactions with boys, you know the kind of interactions that later she has to convince them that she did NOT lock me in a broom closet with just some nancy drew books and austin power movies mixed in.
ANYWAYS, if you cannot tell by how much detail I put into my awkward interactions with guys then you are just never going to understand. WAIT! I have a better example. muah ha! Ok so you know how in movies where the main character does something that you know they shouldn't do, and you have to just sit and watch the train wreck? Lets take the movie Bridesmaids for instance, the part in the movie where they are both competing over making the best bridesmaid speech at her bridal party and it gets so awkward that you get physically uncomfortable having to watch..... that would be a better example of just maybe how it is. Or at least how I think it is. Back to my point, dammit. So I decide to go to this show a little early to do some writing and spend time with God begging him to impart some type of cleverness/non homeschoolness onto me. Of course God shows up and just assures me I am exactly the way He wants me and my silliness is endearing. Well as the artist starts setting up then the people start flooding in. This man seems to be very popular amongst the ladies, and I am not doubting it is because of his music because he is very talented and heart warming. But as more and more people filled the coffee shop and I see girls outweigh the guys 4 to 1 I start observing. I am looking around at all the girls that are standing, sitting, leaning, and staring at this man playing guitar. They are dressed in adorable scarves with their hair well done and there eyes painted to pure perfection. Their purses match their shoes and their nails seem to be freshly pintrested.... I mean painted. These women were beautiful, each and every one of them and they were doe eyed. Well as I am observing and listening and studying I am purely heartbroken by what I FEEL that I see. Each of them have a little invisible sign saying "pick me", "choose me", "love me", "please take me". I know that sounds quite silly but it shattered my heart into pieces.
See my main motivation for going to this event was to get myself out of my comfort zone. I need to address every man as I would every woman, I need to love them the same and maybe that will just have to come with practice. But all I know is that I had given myself homework and goodness gracious I was going to earn myself an A. I wasn't going for a relationship, I wasn't going to be picked, I was not going to be chosen and I certainly was not going to be competition. I sat and thought to myself, "why? why this guy ladies?". Im going to go ahead and cover my tracks by saying that he is probably a super awesome dude. He seems genuine and he sings songs about his sister who waits for her love in his oh so soothing voice, no doubt, he seems to be carved into a catch. But, what else? I imagined myself walking up to each girl with a microphone and interviewing them of why they have the sign they do on their forehead? I also imagined their answers "Well, he loves Jesus, he is artistic, he loves his family and he is certainly attractive". Ok, what else? WHAT ELSE LADIES??!?!?
I do not want to see my generation of women gathered in a small coffee shop, spending time dressing up, and pretending that coffee is really what you wanted at 8 at night in hopes of getting CHOSEN OVER ALL THE OTHERS because of how many checks some cute guy gets on the checklist.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.... You are far more worth that. If he wants you, he wouldn't ask you to be a fan, he would be your fan. If his looks and his guitar were stripped away... would you still be sitting in that coffee shop ladies? Stop selling yourself so short with your heart and then wonder why you feel betrayed by God? Why you sit in a room full of women with an unspoken competition to be CHOSEN. Slow down, settle down, get down, on your knees and pray to God for him. We do have a desired to be loved, so bad we have that desire even when some of us want to snuff it out, or avoid the possibility of it. But it is sewn into our DNA, to everyones DNA the desire to be loved. Now we have a choice, we can seek love from the ultimate lover, or we can try and fight for love in a coffee shop. See because if you are spending more time at a coffee shop and less time with your Maker, then I don't see how you can even identify holy love when you find it. God does not ask us to chase love, fight others for love, or even need to dress up for love. FIGHT FOR YOUR HEART girls. Fight. It is the only one you have. Stop giving it away at the first guy that actually asked you on a date (instead of beating around a bush or asking you to coffee over and over and over and over and over and over). Stop giving it away to those who seem "worthy" to this world because my man will be worthy of all of heaven. When you are worthy of heaven you are worthy of my heart. Stop giving it to those who message you, call you, fb you, and wait for those who find you.
I am not writing this because I have it all figured out, but I am writing this from a bruised heart. Give love, but keep your heart higher than a man who plays guitar, or a man who knows OF God, or a man who just asks you on a date, or a man you've known for a week. Keep your heart higher than a man who makes money, or a man who wants kids, or a man who just makes the checklist look full. Keep your heart at a place where man will have to align with God to even find it.
So go to a coffee shop and listen to good music if that is what you want. But wipe the labels off your forehead saying "choose me", "love me" and replace it with "I am chosen", "I am loved", "I am just here for the music"
I LOVE YOU ALL LADIES!!!!!!!!! I pray for your hearts every day.
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Mom