I read this quote the other day that said "God gave your heart to someone already and we go on a journey to find it"
I am going to have to say I disagree with this. Since I can remember I have been walking around with my heart not on my sleeve, in my hands, I hand it around almost if I am sharing a toy. I am realizing that I cannot stop this, I cannot contain it, I cannot deny it. Its the way I was born, God appointed me this way. And so much of my life I have been mad at God for that but the more I am hurt and disappointed that people don't care about my heart as much as I do, I realize that God needs me this way. Yea I might get hurt, ALOT, but if I am helping people by opening my heart to them at all times then what a true blessing that is for me. My earthly self wants to cry and pout every time my heart hurts, but I should take joy in the pain. Because one day the pain will fade, and the glory will come. It will all have been worth it.
I read out of the Bible the other day to not stray from Gods words and give into our sinful nature. I feel that my nature gets in the way a lot of the times. I enjoy making out. Like every other person on this planet. But I enjoy no strings attached makeout, its easier that way, and I never thought anything to be wrong of it. But the more I realize my natural desire to meet my physical needs the more I realize that it is probably not what I need. God has so many promises and one of them is not to meet my selfish physical needs. So many times I don't really care if the other person has feelings. Just as long as every 3 months or so my cravings are met. But isn't that kind of sick? I mean honestly I don't NEED to makeout, but I really want to. Whose desire is that? And does it get in the way of me living out Gods promise? Not really, someone is going to get hurt eventually and if that is the case then what is the difference between me and those people that take advantage of my heart. Not that I ask anyone to show me their heart so I can hurt it, but what if the people I have handed my heart to didnt ask for that either? I just kind of hand it over and then watch as they juggle and drop it until I pick it back up and walk away. Whose fault is it?
The only person I should be trusting my heart with right now is God. Ive given it before but seem to always take it back so I can start handing it out because Gods timing doesnt seem to be good enough for me. So bad do I want someone to love unconditionally. Someone that I can trust to take my heart and give it back to God. Because often times when I really FALL for someone, I think I am just falling for the Jesus in them. When I see them walking beside Jesus so many times I want to join. I want to walk along both of them, hand in hand. I want Jesus to walk us both down the isle. I don't want to have to convince anyone anymore that I am worth time, love, sacrifice, hurt, risk and pursing.
I guess what seems to trip me up is that if I cannot even convince those who don't REALLY deserve me to chase me then why would I expect those who do deserve me to chase me? Do you get what I mean? Its like if I cannot even get a job at McDonalds then why would I ever apply to be president of a powerful company?
I guess I have to ask God those questions. Im going to ask now. Pardon me.
God, why is my worth so often questioned? By me? Why does it seem that I am spending most my time convincing others that I am someone to trust?
Why would I pick a plant before it has bloomed? Why would I dig a seed from the ground without proper watering. It is patience you are fighting for. It is love that you are seeking but not from above. If you are a seed, planted in the ground are you seeking light from above or are you seeking to dig your roots into the ground so you have a solid foundation. If you enter a relationship without any roots then you are to fly away and be one with the wind. You are to fly here and there and wherever the wind may take you. I am grounding you Anna. You are being rooted and the more you fight to bloom the weaker your roots are. There may be people walking in the garden of life, picking the flowers not yet bloomed, or picking the buds, or picking the dandelions. You may go unnoticed now, but when some body tries to pick you from the ground, when they see your beautiful flower that dances WITH the wind and reflects light right back from the sun, when they try to pick you, you will be so rooted in me that it will be a fight. The right person is going to be willing to fight for you. The right person is going to realize that they are not to pull you from your roots, but rather plant themselves next to you and grow along side you. That is what you are waiting for Anna. I don't want someone to notice your beauty and pick you from where I have you, I want someone to understand that your beauty has been grown, and came from years of growing and respect that they are not to take you from that, but rather love you for that.
Wow, I asked God to provide a Bible verse along with my writings and I got Proverbs 31. I am not going to type it all out but God is so faithful in confirming the things that are true to me. It talks about the woman who is respected. At the end it is highlighted "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate"
Wow, that sounds good. God when I am craving human touch. When I am wondering why I am surpassed, rejected, neglected, put down, passed around, and hurt I will realize that in you God is who I find my strength. In you God is who will satisfy all needs.
Thank you Lord for your consistent encouragement.
I am going to have to say I disagree with this. Since I can remember I have been walking around with my heart not on my sleeve, in my hands, I hand it around almost if I am sharing a toy. I am realizing that I cannot stop this, I cannot contain it, I cannot deny it. Its the way I was born, God appointed me this way. And so much of my life I have been mad at God for that but the more I am hurt and disappointed that people don't care about my heart as much as I do, I realize that God needs me this way. Yea I might get hurt, ALOT, but if I am helping people by opening my heart to them at all times then what a true blessing that is for me. My earthly self wants to cry and pout every time my heart hurts, but I should take joy in the pain. Because one day the pain will fade, and the glory will come. It will all have been worth it.
I read out of the Bible the other day to not stray from Gods words and give into our sinful nature. I feel that my nature gets in the way a lot of the times. I enjoy making out. Like every other person on this planet. But I enjoy no strings attached makeout, its easier that way, and I never thought anything to be wrong of it. But the more I realize my natural desire to meet my physical needs the more I realize that it is probably not what I need. God has so many promises and one of them is not to meet my selfish physical needs. So many times I don't really care if the other person has feelings. Just as long as every 3 months or so my cravings are met. But isn't that kind of sick? I mean honestly I don't NEED to makeout, but I really want to. Whose desire is that? And does it get in the way of me living out Gods promise? Not really, someone is going to get hurt eventually and if that is the case then what is the difference between me and those people that take advantage of my heart. Not that I ask anyone to show me their heart so I can hurt it, but what if the people I have handed my heart to didnt ask for that either? I just kind of hand it over and then watch as they juggle and drop it until I pick it back up and walk away. Whose fault is it?
The only person I should be trusting my heart with right now is God. Ive given it before but seem to always take it back so I can start handing it out because Gods timing doesnt seem to be good enough for me. So bad do I want someone to love unconditionally. Someone that I can trust to take my heart and give it back to God. Because often times when I really FALL for someone, I think I am just falling for the Jesus in them. When I see them walking beside Jesus so many times I want to join. I want to walk along both of them, hand in hand. I want Jesus to walk us both down the isle. I don't want to have to convince anyone anymore that I am worth time, love, sacrifice, hurt, risk and pursing.
I guess what seems to trip me up is that if I cannot even convince those who don't REALLY deserve me to chase me then why would I expect those who do deserve me to chase me? Do you get what I mean? Its like if I cannot even get a job at McDonalds then why would I ever apply to be president of a powerful company?
I guess I have to ask God those questions. Im going to ask now. Pardon me.
God, why is my worth so often questioned? By me? Why does it seem that I am spending most my time convincing others that I am someone to trust?
Why would I pick a plant before it has bloomed? Why would I dig a seed from the ground without proper watering. It is patience you are fighting for. It is love that you are seeking but not from above. If you are a seed, planted in the ground are you seeking light from above or are you seeking to dig your roots into the ground so you have a solid foundation. If you enter a relationship without any roots then you are to fly away and be one with the wind. You are to fly here and there and wherever the wind may take you. I am grounding you Anna. You are being rooted and the more you fight to bloom the weaker your roots are. There may be people walking in the garden of life, picking the flowers not yet bloomed, or picking the buds, or picking the dandelions. You may go unnoticed now, but when some body tries to pick you from the ground, when they see your beautiful flower that dances WITH the wind and reflects light right back from the sun, when they try to pick you, you will be so rooted in me that it will be a fight. The right person is going to be willing to fight for you. The right person is going to realize that they are not to pull you from your roots, but rather plant themselves next to you and grow along side you. That is what you are waiting for Anna. I don't want someone to notice your beauty and pick you from where I have you, I want someone to understand that your beauty has been grown, and came from years of growing and respect that they are not to take you from that, but rather love you for that.
Wow, I asked God to provide a Bible verse along with my writings and I got Proverbs 31. I am not going to type it all out but God is so faithful in confirming the things that are true to me. It talks about the woman who is respected. At the end it is highlighted "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate"
Wow, that sounds good. God when I am craving human touch. When I am wondering why I am surpassed, rejected, neglected, put down, passed around, and hurt I will realize that in you God is who I find my strength. In you God is who will satisfy all needs.
Thank you Lord for your consistent encouragement.
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