withdraw
Thank you God for being the only one to heal me. To show me where I can improve to become more like your loving son. Thank you for being the only one to guide me and for seeing me for who I really am and not what I am trying to be. Continue to show me your beauty and how to befriend you. I want to know where you want me to do your works through me and then turn and give you the glory.
God continue to lead me right to your words of promise. They have brought so much hope. You are showing me what it looks like to be poor in the world but rich in the spirit. Normally this would be pulling me down but God you continue to poor into me and show me that I do not need money to survive, I do not need this earth to survive. I need You. Just You.
I had a light bulb moment the other day. I was suffering pretty bad, in the ways of feeling poor and not being able to make bills and just over all breaking down and being so angry with God. Why is He bringing me through this, why am I stressing? Why is He not rewarding me with things that I consider "rewards". I read the end of James and it says the "patience in suffering" and goes on about how as Christians we should not act surprised when we have the time of suffering because where ever Christians thrive storm clouds may gather. Right, I wrote about this a couple days ago but I am going to delve deeper. So I can see how I need to celebrate in this time because God is showing me so much, I need to separate from this earth so these are all counted as blessings but it doesn't mean that I don't suffer from it because my head is constantly fighting my spirit. My head is trying to grasp the reality ive BEEN living in. Its like I have to train my mind all over again, and it feels like suffering. My mind is mourning the reality it once knew. But I was thinking what if "suffering" is just earth separating from the mind and the spirit entering in. See this world has such a grasp on my thoughts, it has trained me to recognize what is important and "successful" and the fact that I am now trying to rip that away is causing me "suffering". So crazy when I really think about it. Its almost like im withdrawing. Thats actually probably a perfect way to say it. I am withdrawing from the poison this world has given me and I have more than willingly taken. Your body can even reject something good. Like when you withdraw it can reject food, medicine, positive thoughts. Wow this is all coming together don't you think? I cannot wait for the day when I am healthy with God knowing that only He can provide for me. I bet when I am done withdrawing and going to meetings with God, that He will send me back out into the world I need to help.
God show me what it is like to pick up your promises every day and choose them over what this world promises me. Continue to blow me away.
God continue to lead me right to your words of promise. They have brought so much hope. You are showing me what it looks like to be poor in the world but rich in the spirit. Normally this would be pulling me down but God you continue to poor into me and show me that I do not need money to survive, I do not need this earth to survive. I need You. Just You.
I had a light bulb moment the other day. I was suffering pretty bad, in the ways of feeling poor and not being able to make bills and just over all breaking down and being so angry with God. Why is He bringing me through this, why am I stressing? Why is He not rewarding me with things that I consider "rewards". I read the end of James and it says the "patience in suffering" and goes on about how as Christians we should not act surprised when we have the time of suffering because where ever Christians thrive storm clouds may gather. Right, I wrote about this a couple days ago but I am going to delve deeper. So I can see how I need to celebrate in this time because God is showing me so much, I need to separate from this earth so these are all counted as blessings but it doesn't mean that I don't suffer from it because my head is constantly fighting my spirit. My head is trying to grasp the reality ive BEEN living in. Its like I have to train my mind all over again, and it feels like suffering. My mind is mourning the reality it once knew. But I was thinking what if "suffering" is just earth separating from the mind and the spirit entering in. See this world has such a grasp on my thoughts, it has trained me to recognize what is important and "successful" and the fact that I am now trying to rip that away is causing me "suffering". So crazy when I really think about it. Its almost like im withdrawing. Thats actually probably a perfect way to say it. I am withdrawing from the poison this world has given me and I have more than willingly taken. Your body can even reject something good. Like when you withdraw it can reject food, medicine, positive thoughts. Wow this is all coming together don't you think? I cannot wait for the day when I am healthy with God knowing that only He can provide for me. I bet when I am done withdrawing and going to meetings with God, that He will send me back out into the world I need to help.
God show me what it is like to pick up your promises every day and choose them over what this world promises me. Continue to blow me away.
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