Heart of a Virgin, Mind of a Whore

So it probably wasn't till this last year that I realized how much of a feeler I am. Feeler meaning I can feel energies and people really well. Bobby could wake up in the morning and I could feel if he didn't sleep well, or I always can feel when he is being quietly mad with me. I can feel when people's intentions are not good. Or when someone is bullshiting me, especially selling me something. I always just thought it was normal, but my mom made me realize what a gift it is and not everyone has this gift. Well in coming into better understanding of this gift, I now can begin to understand also why I can get so upset or affected by something that is dark or violent. I have to be careful of what I expose myself to because I can take on the energy or the feeling if I am not being careful. It also explains why I can cry so quickly when I feel someone's pain. Like when someone is crying, crying with them is not super comforting. Like especially when it has nothing t...

I should really just give up with people. Maybe that is why my heart hurts, because it has to find its own love. I try and try and try and do my very best to do what I think is going to make people happy, even if that means its in the long run. And I feel like I get hit with a bulldozer when I see them walk, walking straight, in the right path... good..... no no wait Not there Don't think that way Thats not how is gonna be I swear on it Just hang on a little longer please!!! .............. Its over They have made up their mind. There is no use for me anymore I can go away now Thanks for the help that didn't really mean anything But there is the door. The only thing I take with me are tears. Tears for what could have been. Tears for what still can be. But also tears for what will never be. I give up.